Zei nebuni si documentaristi muisti

You're gonna miss me e un documentar despre Roky Erickson, parintele rockului psihedelic care a dus o viata cat se poate de tumultuoasa. Un super junkie in tinerete, de la iarba la heroina, cu 300 de doze de LSD on the record, a pledat pentru nebunie (asa se spune in romana?) cand l-au prins cu iarba si l-au trimis intr-un spital de nebuni - unde n-avea ce cauta - alaturi de criminali, violatori de copii si restu gastii, unde i s-au administrat electrosocuri si medicamente cretine timp de 2 ani. S-a constatat acolo ca are schizofrenie. Am o ura viscerala fata de americani si de oameni in general in momentu asta.

Povestea asta, desi teoretic documentarul este despre viata lui, o cam neglijeaza filmul de fata, adica o bifeaza asa in trecere, pt ca vorbeste 90% despre familia disfunctionala a lui Erickson, cu 4 frati si o mama usor dementa care nu voia sa-i administreze medicamentele necesare. Pe mine m-a scarbit filmul asta pt ca mi se pare super invaziv, manipulativ, isi exploateaza personajele si e pur si simplu condescendent (cel putin in prima jumatate). Nu stiu daca regizoru a intentionat sa faca filmul asa, sau e pur si simplu imbecil, da' a iesit fix gen hai sa impungem nebunul cu un bat sa vedem cu reactioneaza. Probabil ma-sa a fost platita o gramada ca sa faca o gramada de lucruri, mi s-a facut greata.

Oricum, dupa ce vreo 15-20 de ani a stat pur si simplu ca o leguma, cel mai mic frate al lui a dat-o-n judecata pe ma-sa pt "custodie" si a obtinut-o si a reusit sa-l reabiliteze cat de cat avand ca rezultat o revenire partiala a lui. Acum da niste concerte prin lume.

Ce e mai jos e o chestie pe care a scris-o Erickson in varful dezintegrarii lui in 1986. N-am gasit-o in alta parte pe net. N-am uitat de semnele de punctuatie ci am transcris cam cum spune el - totul, asa, dintr-o suflare. Unele chestii nu prea au sens.

I know the hole in baby's head

"I know the hole in baby's head. I know the hole in baby's head. I know the hole in baby's head. I know the hole in baby's head. I lived together with my family in an old house. I have a big family I have lots of brothers and lots of sisters I have lots of baby brothers and sisters all over the house crying crawling screaming playing in dangerous areas moaning and wailing like dirty disarrayed toys they fall down a lot. My mother and father fight all the time my mother leaves the house dirty all the time always feeding the babies always leaving the babies crying and screaming while she cries all the time. And then she looks up from the bed screaming at the top of her lungs hoping someone understands her. My father was always extremely real introverted always coming in and out of the house night and day and never speakin to anyone never speakin to no one and never speakin to anyone. I like to think everything is alright in my old house in my old dark house but i know it isn't. I've always had bad feelings about all the garbage and dirt and darkness and spider webs and bad smells and bad feelings - scare you. Then as more time went on i started thinking that maybe there could be weird things that could lay dormant in the old darkness of the old dark house so i try to think what these things could be. Then i got to thinking that maybe something had happened something more than that they couldn't talk about. Something that they were too stupid to understand and something they were too quiet of to be knowing of that it was bad. And they just carried on their everyday life unthinking of anything different. What's happening?

Oh my God. I know the hole in baby's head."

- Roky Erickson